06-30-2020 - Privacy Concerns for Teens - Self Study Entry 4

 Should we be more concerned for teens?

Our kids are constantly connected and they are searching for privacy. But not in the ways that I thought. 

According to Danah Boyd's book It's Complicated (Boyd, 2014), "As teens encounter particular technologies, they make decisions based on what they’re trying to achieve." (Boyd, 2014, p.65) It is pointed out that teens are making decisions about how to post and trying to create a version of privacy that is different from past convention. 

Our default settings are no longer set to private. "When participating in networked publics, many participants embrace a widespread public-by-default, private-through-effort mentality." (Boyd, 2014, p.62)

For teens, that means that the parts of their lives that they want kept secret will remain that way, unless they make mistakes. And mistakes do happen. Young people are sharing compromising images of themselves, and the intent would be for those to remain private - between them and the person to whom they sent the image. But there are larger issues of legality there. Young people in Canada can not sent those images legally. 

This is what concerns parents:

Are my kids sending inappropriate images of themselves - thus engaging in distribution of child pronography?

Are my kids engaging in conversations with strangers online? 

Are my kids getting bullied online? 

What are my kids even watching and what is that doing to their minds?

My boys are 8 and 10 and the last three questions are ones I'm worried about.

I have parental controls on the XBox so they can't add anyone that I do not approve, they can't play games that I don't approve, and they can't access certain apps unless I install them. 

In that way, I am trying to limit the danger of encountering bullies or strangers online. But do I really think it is a huge risk? Not really. 

 Are there people out there who would wish my children harm? Yes. Are they plentiful enough that I need to remain vigilant at all times, the way To Catch a Predator on NBC would have me believe? Are there really predators hiding in every chat and in every game, just waiting to pounce? No.

That doesn't mean they don't exist, and that you shouldn't have certain controls in place. But it also doesn't mean that a parent needs to by hyper vigilant. There is a lot that can be accomplished with a good conversation. Parents can do a lot by talking to their kids about the dangers of social media, online gaming, and the internet in general.

Talking to your child about sexting may not solve the problem, but it can at least help them understand the risks. 

Talking to your child about online predators and the chat function in games like Roblox, Fortnite, and Minecraft can be a good starting point too. And they may never encounter a dangerous situation like the ones we have heard about on the news.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that my approach is one of relaxed caution. I want my children to have some privacy and some agency in their choices. For example: They decide who they watch on YouTube, but I remind them that they should feel comfortable watching it with me. There are also times when I check in on them and ask what they are watching and sit down beside them and listen in for a couple of minutes.

"Some teens see privacy as a right, but many more see privacy as a matter of trust. Thus, when their parents choose to snoop or lurk or read their online posts, these teens see it as a signal of distrust. Teens like Kat get upset when their parents never leave them alone when they’re online because they read this as a lack of confidence in their actions." (Boyd, 2014, p. 73)

It isn't much different from how we used to treat scary movies or TV shows in the past. Having an understanding of the media our children consume is important. But a balance can be struck.

If we teach our children, using good digital literacy tools like Be Internet Awesome, or Common Sense Education, then we can do a lot to help them to make good privacy decisions. 

Our children, particularly our teens need to feel like they have agency in their digital identities. "Whether privacy is a “right” that children can or cannot have, or a privilege that teens must earn, adult surveillance shapes teens’ understanding of—and experience with—privacy." (Boyd, 2014, p. 74)  And we as teachers and parents need to feel like we have a sense of input (not necessarily control). So, sitting together and building a plan for how much of our personal selves becomes public online is an important step. 

Bryce Dallas Howard makes a compelling argument about what the current reality is:

Can there be a private/public balance?

"We are making life-altering decisions about our personal boundaries with no guidance and no precedent." - Bryce Dallas Howard.

That is important, and perhaps a celebrity is a good resource for understanding how to manage privacy in a digital age. 

1. No Coddling! - don't hide from what you are afraid of.

2. Confidence comes from character, not our looks! Hard work, particularly in service of others breeds confidence - A trait we need when we are exposed to public attention.

3. A private life makes a public life worth living - cultivating a private life is precious. It's value is inherent in what you withhold and for whom.

Howard discusses tiers of relationships. Degrees of proximity and intimacy. I love that idea. If we can adopt that idea in our discussions with our kids then they can understand the stratification of public posting and private life. 

It is a balance that I think I have. I may be mistaken. But I think I have it.

Where do you sit on that spectrum of private life and public posting? Are you posting about squabbles with a significant other? Asking friends for support online? Or are you keeping private joys and sorrows away from the public eye?

Maybe the answer is to stop posting so much?

My teacher friends always ask me why I don't take pictures of interesting activities that go on in my class. The answer is simple: I was engaged in the activity. I was living it.

I feel the same way about my private life. I often don't have pictures of those fun moments. I was enjoying them.

Is that solution - stop posting so much - feasible for everyone? No!

But maybe we can start to think about what should be held back as an intimate moment, only shared with the people who were there, or only for those closest to us, and if we manage access to our digital selves, the way we manage access to our physical selves then we may be a bit more safe in the grand scheme of things.

What do you think?