Things to look forward to...

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Writing a lullaby, enjoying the feeling of a smile, and breathing deeply .

Those are the things that I've done tonight. I've written about being wealthy, but not in a monetary sense. I truly feel that way tonight. 

On May 17th, I was allowed the pleasure of knowing that my best friend had his first child. Not only that, but his little girl came as a present for his birthday. Seeing the pictures of him holding her I could only ask one question: "How does it feel?" He didn't even seem to think about it. He just signed, "It's the best feeling in the world man. I can't wait for you to experience it."

I honestly look forward to that moment. But when I sat down on my sofa tonight, watching Tron: Legacy, I didn't think it would end with me writing a lullaby for my as-of-yet not conceived child. But here is the thing: When I was married I wrote a song. It was a soft piece of music with which my wife could walk down the aisle. She liked the idea of me writing her music for her instead of one of the usual songs people use. It went well. My friend and band mate, Martin played the guitar on the day and I got to watch her meet me at the front of the church.

Months later, Michelle and I were sitting together and she told me that she thought the music would make a great lullaby for our first child; all I would have to do is write the lyrics. I grabbed my guitar and sang along with the tune and it just felt right. Mind you, I didn't have any words at the time but the idea was there. 

Now back to Jason and his baby. I was sitting on the couch and thinking about the smile on his face. It seemed to me that his smile was one of only a few pure, happy, unspoiled moments we have in our lives. I could see it in his eyes and in the way he held his little girl. Even better was the fact that I could feel myself smiling too. There is nothing better than the feeling of a smile. Muscles tighten through cheeks and jaw, along the face to the eyes, through the forehead and you can feel it out in the tips of your ears. You feel a good smile all through your face. And it's so relaxing.

With this smile on my face I picked up my guitar and started playing "Wagon Wheel" by Old Crow Medicine Show. After about three times through the song I fell into the rhythm of my wedding music. I don't know how; maybe it was pushed to the forefront by my happiness for Jason. The idea of the lullaby. I started playing again and this time I tried to sing and these are the words that came out: 

When I tell you

that I love you

It’s okay to fall asleep

I’ll will love you in the morning

And when I tell you

You’re my sweetheart

The sun will shine through just for you

When you wake up in the morning

Oh my baby

Oh my dear

Close your eyes

Close your eyes and fall asleep

When I tell you

The stars are shining

They are shining out for you

So that you can sleep in peace

And when I hold you

In my arms

And I say a prayer for you

I pray the Lord your soul to keep

Oh my baby

Close your eyes

Have some sweet dreams

And wake up and smile for me

The words came naturally. I don't know if they are good. I don't really care. If I were to sing the song to my child, I'm sure he or she would fall asleep. Even better was the idea that I didn't want to keep the song for myself. I wanted to give it to Jason for his little girl. I've just recorded a scratch version of the song. 

So with all of that I am breathing deeply. I am looking forward to being able to sing to my own child. It may be a year or two, who knows. But for now, I hope that I can give something to a father who had a moment of pure happiness.